Club

- Home Page

- Committee

- Ground Location

- History

- Photo Gallery

- Rules and Conduct

_

__

Links

- Essex County FA

- Essex County FA Cups

- Brentwood Sunday League

- Essex Sunday Corinthian

- Essex Veterans League

Big Dog's Tour Diary

 

Debden Sports Annual Tour 2009

 

The names have been changed to protect the individuals involved.

 

Thursday

 

After much discussion Mr. Angry decided that everyone would be meeting at the bottom of Newmans Lane where we would catch a mini bus to Stansted Airport. The surprise of the early part of the day was seeing Mr Grimstead in his car as he had volunteered to pick up Gupta and Big Dog. He had a stiff drink later to recover or was it just lots of larger. Ginger Greenhouse and Skipper would be meeting at the airport along with the Oompah Lumpah. Most people were on time with the exception of Virgin W. who was late. We should have remembered this for later.

 

We all got to the airport in one piece and managed to get through customs without losing any money, strip searched or dipped.

 

Once we got to the hotel and checked in without difficulty (Star of the Tour 1 point) most people went and unpacked their bags which involved just leaving it in the room so they could get to the bar quicker. We had to arrange for a crane to lift Gupta’s case.

 

We soon realised that Mr Chairman wasn't actually staying with us in the same hotel. He decided after great consideration that he would prefer to say in the Bates Motel across the road. He even went as far to reenact the famous shower scene when he actually fell out of the shower pulling the curtain down with him.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-11%20Spain%2015.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-11%20Spain%2016.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-11%20Spain%2012.JPG

 

The rest of the day went by with various visits to different drinking establishment’s right through to the early hours of the next day. Ginger enjoyed a lovely chat with Myra Hindley, Rose West and Imelda Marcos which proved to be everyone else’s highlight of the evening.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-11%20Spain%2020.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-11%20Spain%2023.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2010.JPG

 

Some people even tried to get on with our friendly neighbours from north of the boarder. The Gas Man had a go at understanding her but they both had blank expressions. Still Mr Angry arrived despite looking the worst for wear earlier in the evening.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-11%20Spain%2029.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2021.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2009.JPG 
 

Friday

 

Several players went golf on Friday which included Mr Grimstead who came out of retirement after 4 years (Thanks Chairman). This was to be an inspired decision as he duly won the match with 33 points. He even managed to lose his treasured West Ham ball on the first tee. Ingelbert finished last with 17 points which was terrible but not the lowest score seen on a tour. Despite his lack of sleep / hangover Mr Greenhouse spent most the day in the bushes looking for Rose West.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2027.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2025.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2026.JPG

 

The rest of us spent a lovely day nursing our hangovers on the beach admiring the views offered. Others enjoyed the delights on offer by the pool which involved lots of slurred speech and falling over objects (Virgin W). Mr President (CITC later) actually sat in the same chair all day getting up only to sample the delights of the pool bar along with his carer. This was followed by an early night to be fit and ready for the football the next. Virgin G was speechless by mid afternoon.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2031.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2032.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-13%20Spain%2006.JPG

 

Everyone managed to get out in the evening with the exception of care in the community (CITC) who managed to get over 12 hours sleep. Mr Grimstead along with Virgin M nearly managed to secure a father and son discount on the way home but the negotiations failed when Mr Angry arrived claiming to be granddad. The Oompah Lumpah also spent 45 minutes making the 5 minute journey back to the hotel.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2030.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2029.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-12%20Spain%2022.JPG
 

Saturday

 

Finally the big day of the football tournament everyone was on time again with exception of two of the virgin’s.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-13%20Spain%2011.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-13%20Spain%2013.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-13%20Spain%2015.JPG

 

The first match saw Debden take on The Carlisle Zimmers and being rusty due the early start saw the team go down to a 2-0 defeat. This was turned around in the next two games when victories over Benidorm and Javea put Debden through to the semi final of the competition. As you can see above most people enjoyed the action.

 

Debden semi final was to end in misery when they lost to favourites Orgullo. They still had one game to come but this was definitely a match too far and the side went down to defeat again to finish in fourth place. The journey back to the hotel was delightful as we enjoyed being serenaded by winners Carlisle which included the Nut Bra challenge but despite several opportunities to shame the opposition Mr Angry was not going to rise to the bait.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-14%20Spain%2008.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-14%20Spain%2003.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-14%20Spain%2012.JPG

 

Saturday was a great night which. The evening’s entertainment was provided by the oompah loompah who was stumped and out danced by a geezer in a mobility scooter (GMS). GMS was to return later with an extra driver who then managed to plough into a load of drinkers causing bodies to be thrown in all directions. Ginger again enjoyed a chat with Hindley, West and Marcos. The pick axe brothers also made an appearance. The evening also saw the debut of hard drinking Ingelbert who Mr Chairman got drunk.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-13%20Spain%2019.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-13%20Spain%2017.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-14%20Spain%2006.JPG
 

Sunday

 

Sunday was to prove to be the most entertaining day of the tour where most people decided to take an excursion. The golfing boys played again in a match that was won by the chairman on 34 points. Mr Angry and Ingelbert finished joint second with 30 points. Ginger finished last, again spending the day looking for Rose West in the bushes.

 

http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-15%20Spain%2004.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-14%20Spain%2013.JPG  http://www.debdensportsclub.co.uk/images/2009_Spain/06-14%20Spain%2016.JPG

 

Little Dog had an excursion as well. He spent to day going up and down in the lift and thanked Mr Angry for the suggestion. The Gas Man commented on the fact he hadn’t had a San Miguel all weekend and quickly back track after roars of laughter when he realised it was what he was drinking on tap for the last 3 days.

 

Care in the Community and his Carer decided to take the train up to Denia in what proved to be the highlight of the tour for the rest of us. Lunch was spent in a local restaurant sampling the delightful local cuisine and wines. (3 bottles and 4 double brandies to me and you). CITC then decided he was going for a swim and left his carer to finish the wine in the restaurant. The Carer was never one to leave a drink behind let alone half a bottle and should really have fulfilled his duties and CITC can’t swim.

 

An hour past and in true carer fashion he then decided it was time to go and look for the person entrusted into his care. Six lengths of the beach later and no sight of his non swimming friend he then placed a frantic call to then slightly drunken Big Dog in which he informed him of the fact he had lost CITC. Que lots of laughter followed by tears and lots of strange looks from everyone else around the pool. Not knowing what to do and what number to call for the local police (999 maybe) the carer then stumbled across a body on the beach just 60 yards from the restaurant. Time to visit Specsavers. CITC was enjoying a sleep was interrupted by a kick after a few distant shouts.

 

A taxi was called to take the now reunited friends to the local train station and with the Carer’s great command of the Spanish language they found themselves at the local bus station. Time to call another Taxi. On arrival at the train station CITC decided it was time to go to the toilet and duly wandered off to find one. Minutes later the train arrives and the carer gets on the train holding the door with his foot waiting for CITC to come out of the bog. Que the train guard who mangers to push the carer on the train leaving the now stranded CITC on the platform waving to his carer as the train pulls away. Another phone call followed by roars of laughter follows.

 

Most of the gang move to a local pub but a few lead astray by the gas man to take in the delights of a local Chinese restaurant including the carer who they pick up on the way. Must to the distress of Big Dog and Mr Grimstead the Carer wasn’t going to have set menu and was nearly moved onto the Gas table. CITC finally arrives at the pub at about 10:30.

 

The night still has a further surprise when Mr Angry returned to his room. Feeling the heat of the day he decides to put on the rooms air conditioning and take to the balcony to remove his shoes and socks. Looking behind he decides to close the door to keep the cold air in. CLICK. This was followed by several shouts to the excited locals and after an hour he was finally let back in. At least the room was cool.

 

Still at least he got some peace as Gupta and Big Dog spent most of the weekend sleeping at the bottom of Alicante Runway. Actually that was quieter then Little Dog’s snoring.

________

 

 

 Results and Fixtures

- All Teams

- Saturday Over 35s

- Saturday Over 45s

- Saturday Over 55s

- Sunday 1st Team

- Sunday 2nd Team

- Sunday 3rd Team

                

Other Sections

- Pentanque

- Pigeon Racing

- Table Tennis

 

Football Section

- Contact Us

- Full Team Reports

- Goal Scoring Chart

- Honours

_____________